Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Playmates


      When I was a kid my most frequent playmates were me, myself, and I.  When I wasn’t otherwise engaged with myself I occasionally got to play with my cousins Tony or Connie.  Eventually they both moved away and playtime stopped.  Of the two, my favorite was my cousin Connie who I could play Barbie’s with.  As we grew older we would pretend we were Laverne and Shirley from TV and have dates with Donny Osmond and his brother Jay.  We would double date and pretend they were coming over for dinner.  Then we prepare food in her play kitchen for the date.   Sometimes we would simply baby sit baby dolls and pretend we had our own business.  It was a blast!
       
      
      Both cousins had swimming pools and lived at houses with big garages.  Both of their dad’s were truck drivers like mine.  My dad often took me with him when he was planning on working on his truck so I could play with my cousins or go swimming.


        Once I got into school playmates came and went depending on whether we were in the same class or not.  Normally you tended to cling to someone in your class.  Once they were no longer in your class, those playmates drifted away.  My mom was not big on inviting friends over so having playmates from school come over for the afternoon or night was never an option for me.




        Because of this, I believe I learned to enjoy my own company best.  I knew how to keep myself entertained whether by playing with my dolls, playing in the playhouse out back, or swinging on the swings that were a prominent feature in the backyard.  I loved to read and could often be found lost within the pages of a book in my room.  Because of my allergies, I didn’t rush outside to play often.  I don’t remember being lonely.  I don’t ever remember wishing I could have my playmates over from school.  I would play with them at school, and then when I went home the relationship stayed at school.  If someone invited me to a party or over for a play date then my mom was more than willing to let me go.  Asking to have someone to my house was out of the question.  She never said it was not allowed.  I simply knew not to ask.


         In retrospect I honestly believe that after a while the invitations quit coming because they were never reciprocated.  Home was an escape from those who taunted me at school.  I certainly never grew up having the notion I wanted to invite anyone in.  Like my mom, I view my house as my sanctuary.  I rarely have guests.  It would be just too weird!!  When guests come I feel as if the house has to be immaculate, and in my opinion that is entirely too much stress for a lady who has never felt cleaning was a treasured hobby.  I never had friends that were at my house so much that they seemed like they were part of the furniture.  


     
     Back then I couldn’t understand why playmates avoided me like the plague.  In retrospect I think it is because they were never invited to my house.  They would invite me and I would go.  At that point the interaction would end.  I always kept people at arms length. I learned early you can really only truly rely on yourself.  Pinning your hopes on others just brings to many disappointments and heartaches until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

14 comments:

  1. As a kid, my backyard met the backyard of my best friend. We were pretty much at one house or the other--together a whole lot. I still like having people over and don't much feel the need to have a perfect house for visitors (though if Johnny Depp were to come around, I'd spiffy up the place for him). My house is always clean enough--rarely perfectly clean, but pretty clean.

    I guess you're right about the importance of being self-reliant, but having a few close friends sure can make life a whole lot sweeter (and more fun!).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Word Nerd, you were so lucky to have a friend at your disposal! There really no kids in my neighborhood that was my age. They were all a lot older or senior citizens. I would have loved to have had a few close friends throughout my life that I could rely on. I just never did for some reason. I feel blessed to have my writing open up a world of virtual friends like you. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments. ♥

      Delete
  2. You and I are soooo much alike. I grew up as an only child in a rural part of town. My friends were my stuffed toys. I read, played in the woods or out in the coop and shed. Listened to music. My classmates saw me from Sept. to June and I was always an outsider. It's why I moved west, I figured no one would care or miss me once I was gone. Fast forward 30 years since graduation and thanks to Facebook, I find out that I was very well thought of.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JoJo, We are alike. I had a sister who was 7 years older than me, but she never had much to do with me and by the time I was old enough to really remember she lived somewhere else. I always felt like an outsider too. Because of that, I skipped my class reunion figuring no one would care if I didn't show up. I was wrong. Now I regret not going. Oh well, maybe next time. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments. ♥

      Delete
  3. Oh, Kathy that is so me now. And then. I do prefer my own company to others, and that can make for a struggle with developing close friendships. My closest friend has always been my mom and that's why I struggle so with watching her deteriorate. I hate to entertain. You know, make a real dinner for guests. I don't mind serving coffee to the occasional mom but mostly I too keep to myself. As my mother has always taught me, your real happiness must come from within.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sandra, I can certainly identify with that because my mom was my closest friend. That is why it was so devastating when she died. We sound like a pair of kindred spirits. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments.

      Delete
  4. Wow - sounds like you've hit a real vein with most of us here Kathy. Best playtime in our house was playing hospital with my stuffed animals. Each one had a chart, and bandages, etc. Zero desire to go into nursing, but I LVOED being in control of that hospital, taking care of my "patients". I am much more comfortable in my own company than others. And how intersting that we all share such personal things on the internet in our writing. I'm sure there's a good plot line there. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amy, it is pretty amazing to me that we all seem to share a little of the loner tendency. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments.

      Delete
  5. I just read all the comments and of course, your blog and I have to agree. Writing is therapy and we are all so open with our lives and sharing the good and the bad. I love that about writers.
    I also didn't have a lot of friends, but had enough and though I lived out of town, I was allowed to ride my bike the 3 miles to be part of the town kids lives and they mine. I still cherish each of them that I have reconnected with here on FB.
    I spent a lot of time alone, by choice because like most of the above, I liked my own company and my own imaginary friends. They might be some of the same people I choose to write about now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jo, there is where we differed. I lived in a busy traffic area and I wasn't allowed a bike. However, once I was old enough to drive my folks got me a car around. The car got me to all the activities I participated in. I still felt an outsider though. It used to really bother me, then as I got older I accepted it and decided I liked my own company better. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments. I am so pleased you enjoyed my blog and shared your experiences.

      Delete
  6. Nice blog, Kathy. With having a sister and brother, ten and fourteen years older than me, I felt like an only child and I liked it! I had a special neighborhood girl friend that I would play with and a few other neighbors to play hide and seek with in the evening. But like you, I was very content being alone. I spent a lot of time drawing, playing jax, cards...so many ways to entertain myself. I can see why the reciprocation issue can hold true. Being a mother of six, I'm not always that keen on having more kids over to play! (lol) I have a house full already and as busy as my kids are, entering our home and closing the door behind is indeed their sanctuary and quiet place...plus my kids get along real well! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beachlover, I find that I am that way now too. I don't mind my own kids, but don't really appreciate anyone else's taking up residence at my house. Especially those that show up on the door step uninvited and then decide to never leave. UGH. My sister is 7 years older than me and it was very much like growing up an only child. By the time I could really remember her, she didn't live with us anymore. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments!! ♥

      Delete
  7. I know how you feel about not having friends over. I rarely did. I lived too far away from everyone and it was difficult to get to others' houses. So I was my own playmate. The difference...I was really lonely. But over the years, I have become more comfortable in being by myself. I still live my life the same way...with few friends and pretty much alone...except for my husband. We spend time together but it's not the same as having some girlfriend time. Don't know if that will ever happen but it's always nice to have a dream.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susan, you know, I probably wouldn't know what to do with girlfriends to run around with if I had them! LOL Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments! ♥

      Delete