Friday, October 7, 2011

It’s My Life, One Day at A Time!- BFF 130

     It’s my life, one day at a time with attitude. Isn’t it amazing that when you are a kid, even a teenager…your head is full to overflowing with dreams and big plans which include being rich and famous, the happily ever after, and the whole enchilada. I was no different than any other teenager. I had the world by the a$$ and had it all figured out, or so I thought.



    I graduated near the top of my class. The next four years were planned out. I was off to college, off to conquer the world, off to make a life for myself. It was going to be a great life. Then I went off to school and it did not turn out quite like I planned. I realized after a few short months that my heart just was not in it. I struggled. It turned out, it really was not where I belonged. I was homesick from the onset and drove 8 hours home every weekend.  Since I was in Nashville, Tennessee my mom could not resist having an excuse to spend time at the Opryland Hotel , visit, shop, and hang out whenever she could sneak away from home.  


      When my dad called up one day and told her she had to go home and deal with the leaves, I grabbed my a$$ and all my possessions, quit school, and went home too right behind her. Just like that. I remember being afraid to confront my Dad about quitting school.  It was to late to get any refund.   He came into my room and sat down on my bed, and was silent for a few minutes. I was bracing myself for a real telling off, when he shocked me by saying…”Well, since you are home and not doing anything else, how would you like to go to Disney World ??” Excuse me?? Sphincter says what??? Can I get a “Hell Yeah!!!” ?? Needless to say, my folks were the epitome of cool and deliciously unpredictable.




     I gave up all sense of planning the day my mother’s kidneys failed, and when she was diagnosed with multiple myeloma we began living each day as if it were her last. The day came when it was her last and all to soon, she was gone. In my overwhelming grief, my life whirled out of control, lost meaning, and direction. I quit planning and dreaming. It was an effort to get from one day to the next. I didn’t eat. I didn’t sleep. I went to work, and came home. I mourned, and did it well. Eventually my body rebelled. I developed a bleeding ulcer, lost oodles of weight, and after I collapsed at work, my family doctor sat me down and told me I had to get a grip. My mom wouldn’t want me like this. Slowly I returned to the land of the living determined that I would never hurt that badly ever again.  Seems like I had no control over that either.






     When I first became pregnant, I was caught up with the excitement of a new baby. I allowed myself to plan again with excitement. I had heard the baby’s heartbeat. I had felt the baby move. Then one day I went to have an ultrasound. The technician left me and came back with a phone saying my doctor wanted to speak to me. Over the phone he broke the news that my unborn baby was dead. My world shattered. My life fell back into the one day at a time pattern. I vowed no more plans, no more dreams, no more trying to get pregnant. I was done. I was prepared to take each day as it came and to quit hoping for tomorrow.  Much like Scarlett O'Hara, I swore not to think about that now...I would think about that tomorrow...or never if that was the way things went.


     As fate would have it, I was eventually blessed with a husband that I adore and two children who have become the light of my life. I have had homes, and lost them. I have lost even more family members to deaths unyielding grip.   Today I accept it as part of life. I live my life searching for everyday blessings,wisdom,  and invariably find humor and good in most everything. I no longer look past tomorrow, it is just enough to get through today. It’s my life, it’s now or never, one day at a time.  Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

20 comments:

  1. One day at a time works! Excellent job Miss Kathy!

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  2. Jo, you can say that again. :D Thank you for stopping in to read and for your kind comments!!

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  3. Wow, Kathy! You did have cool parents! Drop out of college and go to Disneyworld :-) What wonderful memories you have. I can so relate to you. Since my early 20's, I have lost both grandparents both parents, and several other family members as well as two early miscarriages. Life can knock you around pretty good. One day at a time-that's the only way :-)

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  4. You really are a sugarplum. I love visiting here because you always serve up warmth, humor, and wisdom, and that's a really wonderful combination.

    PS: I spit my coffee out at, "Sphincter says what???" My keyboard doesn't love your blogs nearly as much as I do.

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  5. This is so great. We can do all the planning, but heck life has other roads out there for us. I feel the loss to of my loved ones... Glad we all have each other and our writing....

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  6. Theresa, thanks for stopping in to read and leave such a lovely comment. Life certainly does suck sometimes. I really did have the most awesome parents. I miss them something awful. They were both full of pi$$ and vinegar, so I got a double helping. LOL That was the last time I got to go to Disney. I would give ANYTHING to go back. So sorry for all your losses. We do have lots in common. So pleased you enjoyed my blog.

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  7. Word Nerd, Ahhh so you like the little "Wayne's World" terminology??? I think they are absolutely hilarious!! It warms my heart that you enjoy what I write. :D Sorry about your keyboard!! :S

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  8. Laura, thank you for stopping in to read and comment!! You are so right!! Life sure has a way of gumming up the best laid plans. That is why I never plan anymore. I just go with the flow. I feel so blessed to have all of you and our writing. It has opened up a whole new world for me.

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  9. I'm sorry you had to go through all that. You are a strong person. Handling with humor takes a special talent. I do so enjoy your blogs.

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  10. Darlene, there are times when I don't feel very strong, and then others when I really amaze myself and realize just how strong I am. Thank you so very much for stopping in to read and for your kind comments. I am thrilled that you enjoy what I write.

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  11. Oh, Kathy, I do enjoy your blogs --- coming here makes my day! And, it's good to read that you are promoting that we take one day at a time and realize the things that are truly important in love. Have a great day, my lady.

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  12. You are a true survivor, Kathy, and your strength lies in your positive attitude to life. Well done you!

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  13. Betty, thank you for stopping by. So pleased you enjoyed my latest blog. :D Thank you for your kind comments!

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  14. Paula, I have little choice but to survive, so I figure I might as well do it with a big smile on my face. Thank you for stopping in to read and to leave such a kind comment!!

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  15. You're amazing, how you throw in so much humor with so much tragedy. I love reading your blog.

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  16. I'm sorry you had to go through a rough beginning but am glad things are good now.

    Joyce
    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2011/10/silly-sunday-redneck-hunting-accident.html

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  17. Angie, I guess it is just the way I express myself that gets people. I write like I talk which makes it pretty easy. Funny thing is I am never sure if what I write is funny until someone like you tells me so. LOL When I read it aloud to my kids..or my husband, they never laugh...but they are used to me I guess. I never was like this when I was younger, and now this attitude and personality just kind of bubbled right out as I got older. Who would have knew?? I am so pleased that you enjoy reading what I write and visiting my blog!! Thank you for your kind comments!!!

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  18. Joyce, thank you for stopping by to read and comment. Me too, but all the tragedy and hard times made me who I am today...so I guess there was a price to pay to get to where I am now. I got a wealth of knowledge and common sense from the experiences which has proved to be priceless.

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  19. Hi Kathy!! this is nicki (former employee from websitebusiness) i just want to tell you how proud i am of you for creating a new site!! out of all the clients that lost so much because of kyle winn, the scamming lying owner of wsb, you were one of the few i was most upset about. we loved you at wsb and loved to read what you had to say!! i wasnt able to talk to you much, but i made sure i checked in on your site every now and then. i hope you are doing well!!

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  20. Nicki, It is so wonderful to hear from you!! I am so proud of this new site myself. It is all me, and I did it all myself, which makes it even more gratifying. I will be forever grateful for all of the help I always got from all of you. I always considered you dear friends. It saddened me when you were forced to delete me as a friend on face book, but I understood. Feel free to friend me again if you like, or even follow my site. They were controlling people. I hope you are doing well and have been able to move on. I hope you will continue to keep track of my progress and give me a shout every now and then. Thank you for stopping by to check things out and to comment!!! You made my day. I have missed you and all of my favorites that got to be my friends.

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